Sacrifice!

The Krampus not only stalled Santa with the childrens hospital, but they also put a dimensional portal around the time machine device that is used to move Santas sleigh! They are in for a nasty surprise, since it is infused with my energy, and according to Santa, I am a being of pure goodness!

In the Krampus dark dimension...

Krampus 1; What did you do???

Krampus 3; I wanted to take away Santa's time device so he won't make it back in time!

Krampus 1; FOOL! The device is infused with purity and you and I both know that purity will destroy our dimension! Teleport it out of here at once!

Krampus 3; Done. I thought I was doing the right thing.

Krampus 1; We need to work to together if we are to be successful! Isn't that right Brother 6?
Krampus 6; Yes Brother 1.

Back at the childrens hospital...

Me; Santa...I understand the importance here, but we need to make it back in time!

Santa; Yes...Yes, we must be off!

The children suddenly moaned and groaned, but we left them with wonderous gift and since I acted as a time travel device, we were on our way to the North Pole realm!

In the Krampus dimension...

Krampus 1; They are late. THEY ARE LATE!!! YES! We did it!!! Let us invade the world my brothers! We won!!!

Krampus 6 steps back. Looks at his time piece. Ponders for a moment and then teleports away!

In the North Pole realm...

Santa; We did it with a split second to spare!

Me; They are still coming.

Santa; What? We beat the time!

Me; We did Kris, but I want them to open their portal. I have a plan.

The Krampus dark dimension opens up, with Krampus 1 leading the charge!

Krampus 1; You lost Nicolas! This world is ours!

Santa; Check your time pieces!

Krampus 1; NO, this is trickery!

I made them believe that we were a second late, when we were only a split second late, and then I opened the bag and out came one hundred A.I. ninjas! The ninjas pushed back the Krampus and the Krampus closed the dimension door!

Santa; Those ninjas should keep them busy.

A.I.Unit Keith; Actually Santa, they will never bother mankind again. Keith went into the Krampus Dark Dimension. Since he is pure goodness, the dimension will be destroyed.

Santa; NO! Keith will be destroyed with them! If the dimension is destroyed then there is nothingness!

In the Krampus Dark Dimension...

Krampus 1; What is happening to our realm? There is a pure form of energy pulsing from one of the ninjas!

I pull off my ninja mask and say; Your kind is finished! You will never plaque mankind again!

Krampus 1; If you destroy us, you will destroy yourself too!

Me; Well, I hope it's a good death?

I unleash my powers at it maximum, and the dimension vanishes, ...and so do I!

Back in the North Pole Realm...

Santa; He ceased to exist in a noble fashion. I would write a poem about Keith, but I am too tired and need my rest! Take care, my good friend Keith!

Next Time; New Year, New Fears in 2007!

Peace!

Keith

Have yourself a Merry Krampus Christmas!!!

The Krampus beast and I hit the Russian mountains hard!

The Beasty looks similiar to a Krampus, but he is the size of a Humpback Whale! The staff it is carrying shoots out a yellow beam that send me hurtling thrugh rocks and into a mountain cliff! Thankfully the blue energy power protects me, but this thrashing I am getting from the beasty is keeping from helping Santa! I try to banish the beasty, but he is protected by a yellow sheild from his staff! I try to transmute the staff, but no effect, and then I take another hit and go underground!

Santa; Dasher! Dancer! Prancer! Vixen! Comet! Cupid! Donner! Blitzen! Rudolph and Robbie! Help me fight this thing? I dropped my recipe book!

Santa is plummenting fast and the fruit cake is entangling and engulfing Santa and his reindeer! It is looking tough for Santa! I unforgenately won't be helping him anytime soon!

Then...five Ninja climb out of the bag, and start hacking the fruit cake to pieces! Finally, relief for Santa, but I feel sorry for anyone below as they rained on by bits of fruit cake!

After a few more hits, I come up with a plan! I can tranmute the beast's staff, but I can transmute the mountains! The Beast starts making his way towards Santa, thinking that I am no longer a threat and this is where a use this to my advantage! I form two half circles and slam them together around the beast and then I seal it tight! I don't stop there since I see the beast tearing away at the rock cage! I push it deep into the earth and seal more rocks on top and then I teleport to Santa's sleigh!

Me; Kris, I have a feeling that I will not be through with fighting that Krampus Beasty, so I am gonaa try something clever?

Santa; What would that be Keith?

Me; I am gonna trying repairing your time travel device with transmutation! If I get attacked again, I will need you safe! I also have Reggie monitoring you and he called in the Norad airforce to protect you. Unfortunately they can only cover you from South America to North America!

Santa makes his way to Cairo, Egypt, and then off to Italy, France, and England! The repaired time device is working perfectly! I let Santa know that I will meet up with him in South America! And here comes the beasty again! I did not think that rock prison would hold him long! Maybe that stff has something to do with it?

The beast lashes out with the staff again and I can't seem to dodge the yellow bolt of power! I knocks me across the Alantic waters like a skipping stone! I then come up with an idea! The Beast comes in closer and extends his staff to try blasting me again and this time I create a giant geyser that separates his staff from him and then I cover him in an orb of water and freeze it! I take his staff and cover it in rock and ice and sink it in the Atlantic! Time to catch up with Santa!

Meanwhile in the Krampus Dark Dimension...

Krampus 1; FOOL!!! If you won't of sprang the plan B so early, he wouldn't have had time to figure out how to defeat it!

Krampus 6; I have one more trap! Santa will not suspect it, because of it's innocence!

Santa made it to South America and we were soon escorted to Flordia's Cape Canaveral. Onward when went to the BIG APPLE! We took a much needed break and Santa thankfully wrapped up the gift giving in record timing thanks to the repaired time engine!

It was almost too quiet as we traveled to Missouri, and then, sure enough, we spotted more fruit cake monsters! Since we are no longer in Japan, I figured I could drop a few ninja, but unforgenately as they dropped, a dimensional door swalloed them up! Not wanting to dump anymore, I figured that I need to do something drastic!

Me; Kris! Head directly North to Canada! Wrap up your U.S. states after you see a bright blue light covering this part of the americas!

Santa; I will bring the reindeer to Reindeer lake and wait for the sign! Will you be joining us after this?

Me; No, I need to defeat the Krampus once and for all, and I suspect they are causing trouble in Minneapolis, so I see if the Time Agency needs my help. Use the Ninjas, but only as close guards, since the Krampus are using their portals to capture them. ...I wonder why they don't just capture you in their dimension?

Santa; If I was in their dimension, it would no longer be filled with chaos! I am a being a strong goodness!

Me; That you are Kris! Wait, I just had a great idea! Hand me a Ninja outfit!

Santa heads North to Reindeer lake, and I work the most amazing transmutation feat ever! With a string blue light, I transmute every fruit cake monster in the U.S. into Christmas candy! (I happened to find a page from Santa's recipe book after sealing the Beasty in the rocks in Russia)

Meanwhile in Minneapolis MN...

Naughty College Girl Aspen; No fair! No fair! He turned all the fruit cake monsters into candy!

Naughty College Girl Alexi; Into tasty candy! I can't resist!

Naughty College Girl Alexandra; I can't help but feel peace and goodness flow through me!

I fly into Minneapolis! My town, and see the rain of christmas candy! Thankfully it floats down, so it does not cause injury, and I fly into the Time Agency, but I make sure I hover the whole time!

C.E.O. Sarah; Good work Keith, and I am glad you caught my hinting.

Me; All in a days work Sarah. Am I reinstated?

C.E.O. Sarah; Well since you are not really Keith, but you are a valuable agent, I will officailly dub you a Time Agent!

Me; Thanks Sarah. I need to check up on Santa at the North Pole! We are on crunch time!

I make my way back, but I don't see Santa! Mrs. Claus states that Santa made a special stop to a Childrens hospital in Houston, Texas. I quickly teleport home, and then to the childrens hospital! Sure enough the children are gathered around him and his reindeer. I am not sure how to tell Santa this, but if he doesn't break away from this, he will be late and the Krampus will have the upper hand!

Then I see in a mirror, a Krampus laughing! This was a trap! I very innocent trap!

Next Time; Sacrifice!

Peace!

Keith

Santa's Flight! Winter's Fright!

After a great nights rest, we wait for sundown! This will be the time that Norad tracks Santa! I learned how to phase in and out so I will not be viewed on the Santa tracker! One less phenomena to explain to the kiddies around the world! I noticed that I have be glowing blue since our viewing of the Christ child. I also feel very powerful and alive that ever before. Maybe I got some kind of boost from our Lord?

Sundown at the North Pole...

We take off, and our first destination is New Zealand! So far, no bad encounters...and then, unforgenately I spot the first fruit cake monster heading for New Zealands capital, Wellington! Time for a Ninja drop off! I drop two ninjas off! I am carrying 100 ninjas total in one of Santa's bag, that is a pocket dimension that can hold many things! Santa makes his many delieveries and we are off to Australia!

Again, we spot a fruit cake monster, and again two ninjas! Santa makes his many delieveries!So far, this is going easy! We land for a quick snack on the beach! After a cool drink and a few chocolate chip cookies, we are off to Japan!

In Japan, we found a few fruit cake monsters and as I did my token drop of two Ninjas, a large band of ninjas dressed in red with symbols that looked like the heads of the Krampus leaped out and destroyed the two ninjas. The fruit cake monsters were heading quickly towards the capital of Tokyo! I drop three more ninjas and they were also defeated! The large band of ninjas appears to be about fifty of them, and rather than drop all my ninjas, I decide of something drastic!

Me; Kris, how did you turn those bread monsters into tasty gingerbread cookies?

Santa; With this recipe!

Santa handed me the cookbook and after a quick read, I tried my luck! ...Unforgenately I did not do so well it turning them into deliciously irresistable gingerbread cookies, but I turned the fruit cake monsters into a large batter of ginger bread mix and it entangled the ninjas!

Me; Well, that worked out better than expected!

Then as Santa was making delieveries, one of the Ninja's was clinging under the sliegh and made it in the sleigh! The ninja pulled out his blade and sunk it into my chest!

I thought I was dead, but instead it releashed an explosion of blue energy that banished the Krampus ninja!

In the Krampus dark dimension...

Krampus 1; Our plan worked!

Krampus 2; Yes! The package planted below Santa's sleigh should expand soon, thanks to the help of Keith energy explosion, giving it life!

Back on Santa's sleigh...

Me; Kris, how is the deliveries coming?

Santa; Just a few more than off to China!

Me; I got a feeling that something really bad is gonna happen?

Santa; The Krampus Ninjas were bad in itself. You suspect something worse?

Me; Yes.

China, Nepal and India went relatively smooth, until we entered space to visit the international space station! Santa stated that he needed to deliver gifts to the astronauts. I was getting a bad feeling about all of this and when we left, my feelings were justified!

Santa; We got incoming!

Me; I see it and it doesn't look friendly!

Krampus Dark Dimension...

Krampus 1; Who released our Plan B?

Krampus 6; I did!

Krampus 1; We already have them in a upcoming crisis!

Krampus 6; What can I say! I love overkill!

Back on the sleigh...

Me; I got this incoming beasty!

As soon as I leave the sleigh, a sound like popping noises come from under the sleigh! Santa's sleigh is quickly becoming engulfed in Fruit Cake! I got distracted and the hairy beast tackled me and brings me Plummenting towards Russia! Santa sleigh and reindeer are covered in Fruit Cake mix and he too plumments toward Russia!

Next Time; Have yourself a Merry Krampus Christmas!!!

Peace!

Keith

Silent Night, Unholy Night!

Sleigh is fully packed, the Yoga Bootie Ballet girls are safetly home, Santa is ready for his famous ride at sundown on Sunday! Everything is in order, and I am ready with my A.I. Ninjas, at the first sign of trouble! Once Santa's sleigh is spotted on noradsanta.com, those pictures that the naughty college girls mailed out will no longer be believed!

I am sad that my life has been taken over by an A.I. unit pretending to be me. I miss my place, but hanging with Santa A.K.A. Kris Kringle, Mrs. Claus, and the Elves is a blessing! It will be an honor to ride in Santa's sleigh, especially since I will be the time machine that helps Santa move quickly to all places to deliver the toys!

Then, one of the Krampus appeared to try to cause Santa despair! I then start to glow blue, and then it looks like flames and as I point at the Krampus, he vanishes, almost like I banished him to somewhere?

Me; Kris, what just happened?

Santa; Your power activated on reflex, but for a good thing. The only problem is, I think the Krampus wanted you to do this?

Me; Why?

Santa; To analyze you capabilities!

Meanwhile back in the Krampus dark dimension...

Krampus 1; I am thankful that our brother sacrificed himself so we could monitor how powerful this Keith really is!

Krampus 2; His power is off our scales! He is immensily powerful!

Krampus 3; I think it is time we unleashed our plan B!

Krampus 1; Patience brother! Not til Christmas Eve!

At the Time Agency...

C.E.O. Sarah; How is the work coming on the restoration of the time energy?

Time Agent O'Malley; Not good! It is as though it was sealed shut, with some residual energy slipping out? The residual energy is all we have to go on?

C.E.O. Sarah; How are efforts going to find Time Agent Keith?

Time Agent Zedmore; Not good, and we lost complete connection with our Time Agent that we sent out to find him.

On the U of M college campus...

Naughty College Girl Alexi; The delveries of the fruit cake all over the world were a success! Ready for the release of the three we still have here?

Naughty College Girl Aspen; Ready! And it is actually more than three girl! We have been following the "Amish Friendship Bread" recipe to feed them and now we have 12 giant fruit cake monsters to unleash onto the city!

Naughty College Girl Alexadra; YES! Sant will certainly fail and our masters the Krampus will succeed!

Meanwhile back in the North Pole...

Santa; It is time to gather around! I am giving this one indulgance every year!

We all gathered around one of Santa's Snow Globes! It was the size of a large globe this you can view the world on. It glowed brightly and we soon saw a manager scene. We were viewing the Christ as a baby. It was the coolest and most heart warming vision I have ever seen!

Then it faded out! The Time Agency gives Santa the gift on view the Christ child as a reminder of the true reason for our season!

Me; Kris, I think it is time that we got a good nights rest?

Santa; I agree!

Next Time; Santa's Flight! Winter's Fright!

Peace!

Keith

Get ready to view Santa's flight on www.noradsanta.com

Dark Knights!

C.E.O. Sarah received limited use of the time devices. They unforgenately will only work as a one way trip! The Yoga Bootie Ballet girls state that they have no fear of this. God will see them through it! They traveled in pairs, so if one fell, the other could complete the mission.

C.E.O. Sarah; If I get full access to the time vehicles, we will get you back here safely. Many blessings to you.

The girls depart, and the first team is transported to the northern part of Russia!

Yoga Bootie Ballet girl Valerie; Looks like we have a trecherous terrian to climb!

Yoga Bootie Ballet girl Simone; Yea, it looks rough! I am also feeling the effects of the darkness!

Yoga Bootie Ballet girl Valerie; Hang in there girl! ...Team Coach Kita, we are moving into position, and we..........

Kita; Val! Simone! What happened? Can you hear me? Sarah, can we get a visual?

C.E.O. Sarah; Yes! Let's see what is going on?

They peer through the Snow Globe given to the Time Agency from Santa, and they notice that the device is in place, but Val and Simone are missing!

Yoga Bootie Ballet girl Lynette; Team two reporting in South America. The pressure from the darkness is coming on strong!

Meanwhile in the Krampus Dark Dimension...

Krampus 1; Good work so far my brothers! With this stolen orbs of power we can increase the intensity of darkness on individuals!

Krampus 6; Yes, it is very effective on these strong girls! The first team fell quickly. The second team is resisting, but it will only be a matter of seconds!

Back at the Galileen Time Agency...

(Transmission from the snow globe web cam) Yoga Bootie Ballet girl Lynette; My back up team member Katrina has fallen, and I am not doing so wel.....

Kita; Hang in there girls!

C.E.O. Sarah; Did you see that?

Kita; Yes! It looks like a shadow?

C.E.O. Sarah; The device was activated! What just happened? And I am getting reports of a 100% success!!!

Time Agent Zedmore; Chief, as you requested, we had enough time energy to make this protection from the darkness, retro active! All suffering is erased, but unfortunately this will not last more than 96 hours!

Back in the Krampus Dark Dimension...

Krampus 1; WHAT JUST HAPPENED???

Krampus 3; I am getting reports from all over the world that the devices are active and they are successful!!!

Krampus 1; Time to resort to plan B!

Meanwhile at the North Pole Realm...

Me; Welcome ladies to Santa's North Pole!

It was good to see that the "Yoga Bootie Ballet girls" were safe in Santa's care. They were elated and enjoyed helping load Santa's sleigh. Most of the girls were successful in getting the devices in place, but they would of been stranded if it wasn't for my modified A.I. units!

Yoga Bootie Ballet girl Valerie; Keith, those Ninja A.I. units were a GOD send!

Next Time; Silent Night, Unholy Night!

Peace!

Keith

Rhythm and Wrap up!

C.E.O. Sarah; I can barely lift myself from the floor. All the agents are currently suffering from deep depression and wriggling on the ground! I must reach the switch!

Sarah flips the switch and it activates a field that protects the building from spiritual darkness. Unforgenately it can only run continously for 48 hours, before the generator burns out.

C.E.O. Sarah; Finally! Temporary relief from the outside darkness! Time Agents report!

Time Agent Zedmore; All clear Chief. That was a tough experience.

Time Agent O'Malley; What was the cause of it?

C.E.O. Sarah; The Krampus!

Meanwhile back at the North Pole realm...

Head Elf Reggie; Santa the gifts are all wrapped and ready for delivery on Christmas Eve!

Santa; Good work Reggie! You and the elves beat the record from last year!

Mrs Claus; Gentlemen you must come quickly!

Santa, Elf Reggie, and I came running to the house, and Mrs Claus pointed to a large snow globe. It kind of looked like the size of those wacky crystal balls!

Me; Kris, what is this? Magick???

Santa; No, its a two way webcam. I use it to communicate with the outside agents. This transmission is coming from the Foshay tower!

On the webcam snowglobe was C.E.O. Sarah asking for assistance! And then something very odd happened! We heard a voice that was familiar to me, and a funky music sound! The voice said..."We can help you!"

At the Galileen Time Agency...

C.E.O. Sarah; Kita Rollins? How can you help?

Kita; My girls are training and ready for any task!

C.E.O. Sarah; What girls?

Kita then called out and 20 girls, practically flew into position! It was those "Yoga Bootie Ballet" girls! The ones who defeated those crazy college cave girls!

Kita; Let us know what you need and we can deliver!

C.E.O. Sarah; Santa, I think we got this covered, for now, (and then whispered) but just in case watch and assist if needed, and remember, Keith cannot set foot on soil outside of the North Pole realm.

Santa winked, and then I figured out that Sarah was giving us a clue!

Me; Kris...Sarah said I cannot set foot on soil, but I think she was hinting that I could set foot on snow or occupy air space?

Santa; Ohhh, that sounds good.

Me; I do have another plan though, since I don't want Sarah superiors breathing down her neck, so are those modified toy soldiers ready Reggie?

Reggie; By your command:)

Back at the Time Agency...

C.E.O. Sarah; Thats for the free DVD! Now on to business...I need you girls to deliver each of these globes with 23rd century technology to strategic points on the planet! Once in place, I will activate the devices and they will give temporary shelter from the present darkness! By the way, how are you all so resistant from this darkness?

Kita; The Lord is holding us together, like he was holding you to activate the temporary shield to this building, but even us good christians can eventually become overwhelmed. Lets get busy girls!

Meanwhile in the Krampus Dark Dimension...

Krampus 1; This should be good entertainment! Muh, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!!!

Next Time; Dark Knights!

Peace!

Keith

Prep Time!

Santa and I were hard at work again, as I utilizied my research and detective abilities, plus my connections to figure out that not only have the Krampus released dark despair all over the world, but they also encouraged the naughty college girls to mass mail pieces of the fruit cake monster to many international spots! So far, it is just a rotten suprise, that appears to look like a prank. I can bet money that the fruit cake will spring to life soon and flood the world with fruit cake beasties!

I was glad to be protected in the North Pole realm! It helps us come up with a master plan to defeat these Krampus demons! Santa, was busy with business as usual on creating many toys to be delivered by him!

Santa's North Pole is quite possibly one of the new seven wonders of the world! It is warm here, the toys build themselves, there is never a shortage of food (best part) and working with Santa is not at all stressful as working for Wells Fargo!

All the toys are finally finished and now all we have to do is wait...but I hate waiting, so Team Lead Elf Reggie and were I rapping, as we wrapping, and then I felt like I blacked out for a moment but I was still standing! Head Elf Reggie stated that I looked like a bright Blue Sun! I asked Reggie if I posed any danger to him? He said, no. Instead, he felt deep peace, and pure goodness. He then felt rejuvanated, and I felt more alive than ever, and since I got my second wind, I kept working til morning!

Meanwhile back in the Krampus Dark Dimension...

Krampus 3; We have a problem!

Krampus 5; What is it this time?

Krampus 3; The one who is called Keith is not what he thinks he is! He is a very powerful being! It could casue the end for us?

Krampus 5; I have been preparing for this! The "BEAST" will be released at the appropriate time!

Next Time; Rhythym and Wrap Up!

Peace!

Keith

Up to NO good!

With Santa's permission, I was able to modify the toy soldiers. I can't wait to spring them when I need them. I believe the Krampus have an Ace up their shelves?

I made test runs with the sleigh and it works perfectly with me inside it. Santa A.K.A. Kris Kringle ultilized his diplomancy on the Galileen Time Agency to allow me fly the sleigh all over the world, just as long as I never leave the sleigh, until we reach the North Pole again.

Meanwhile in the Krampus dark dimension...

Krampus 2; Do the girls suspect anything?

Krampus 1; We are talking college girls, and no, they are not bright enough to understand our true plan. They think they will be given the power to rule mankind, but they do not realize our ulitimate plan for "Peace on Earth"

Krampus 3; Yes! The extermination of all mankind!!!

Meanwhile on the U of M campus...

Naughty college girl; ok girls, it is time for our mass mailing!

Naughty college girl; You mean the mailing our to all international places?

Naughty college girl Aspen; Yes! It was a stroke of luck to find out that the amish friendship fruit cake bread monster multiplied 4 times, and we were able to disect one of them for our international mass mailing.

Naughty college girl Alexi; I am so glad we don't have to pay for the mass mailing!

Naughty college girl Alexandra; Yeah, I am glad that the Krampus seem to have a large bank account!

Meanwhile back at the North Pole...

Mrs Claus; Papa, and Keith, we have a spot of trouble!

Santa; What is up mom?

Mrs Claus; Those Krampus are up to no good again!

Santa; What is it this time?

Mrs Claus; The Krampus are using their dark magicks to summon up spirits of anger and despair!

Mrs Claus was right! All over the world, people were fighting and bickering, and going into deep depression! Granted, this sounds like any other day, but this time, everyone is being affllicted!

Next Time; Prep Time!

Peace!

Keith

Toy Soldiers!

Santa, and I were feverishly working around the clock to create "Toy Soldiers" that could combat the Krampus. Santa explains that the A.I. units that the Time Agency uses were created by Santa. Then I had a thought!

Me; Kris! Do you still have the time machine parts?

Santa; Yes, but they are not working, why do you want them?

Me; I got an idea! It's crazy, but it just might work?

I remember absorbing the time torpedo, when we were heading for the North Pole to have our first talk with Mrs. Claus, and wondered, if I can absorb the parts of the time machine, I might be able to use this to our advantage? If I truly am just thought inside this mimiced body, maybe this body can also mimic time travel capabilities? I successfully absorb the parts and I try out the power! My teleport power is enhanced and as I run I can travel much faster, by crunching time.

Me; Kris, I think we found an alternative to your sleigh?

Santa; That's wonderful! Let's celebrate!!!

Me; Now for the tough part!

Santa; What is that?

Me; Convincing the Time Agent for me to travel the globe with you and your reindeer!

Meanwhile, back on the U of M college campus...

Naughty college girl Alexi; The news just reported a record number of kids crying due to the flood of pictures of Santa being fake!

Naughty college girl Aspen; Good work girl, on that signature chemical!

Naughty college girl Alexandra; Santa is finished! I believe our work here is done!

Krampus 1; Not so fast ladies! Santa will not give up so easily, and the Keith character is assisting Santa in creating a successful sleigh ride!

Naughty college girl Aspen; What should we do?

Krampus 1; I have a dark plan!

Next Time; Up to NO good!

Peace!

Keith

Naughty, Naughty, Naughty!!!

I think most kids would be envious of me, when it comes to living with Santa. According to the Time Agency, it is a life sentence. As an adult, I don't see be confined to the North Pole as a great thing. I am still puzzled on why they think I am an alien life form, and then Santa enlightened me.

Santa; This form that is you is an alien life form. It is made of pure energy and is purely good. You are not physically here. Your mind is projecting through this alien life form, and you are physically somewhere else? This must of happened when you went through the blue sun? This alien form is an alien from that blue sun.

Me; That is very heavy Kris! I need to sit back and process this.

Santa; Keith, can you feel or see where you really are?

Me; I am here Kris. I don't know of anything else?

Santa; Facinating! Well for the meantime, this is you, until the Time Agency finds your physical body! For now, lets get to work!

Me; What are we doing?

Santa; Making Toy Soldiers for the upcoming battle against the Krampus!

Elf toy maker Reggie; Santa, we got some incoming bad news!

Santa; What news is that Reggie?

Elf toy maker Reggie; Pictures are being circulated to all the orphanages and schools that you are fake and not real.

Santa; That has happened before, but I must confess, not with that much bravado!

Elf toy maker Reggie; The kids are believing these pictures!

Santa; It must be the Krampus interfering?

Me; Or those naughty college girls? Kris, can I have you scientifically analyse those photos that were sent to mrs Claus?

Santa; What ever for?

Me; I believe that one of those college girls is using chemistry?

After a few hours!

Me; Sure enough, I was right. These photos are being dusted with a chemical that makes people believe they are real. Remember how lame that publicy photo was? I beleive they are pulling photos right off the internet!

Santa; We have to stop them! Why would they want to ruin Christmas?

Me; I beleive you were halfway right in the Krampus being involved?

Meanwhile on the U of M campus...

Naughty College girl Alexi; Hey girls, the photos have all been sent out all over the world with my signature chemical dustings. Soon our masters the Krampus well come to torment the world!

Next Time; Toy Solidiers!

Peace,

Keith

Life with Santa!

Quickly after the giant fruitcake monstrosity attacked, and we defeated him, by turning him into tasty treats (The yeasty beast from my very own kitchen!) Santa and me were brought back into the Foshay tower. Our mouths were covered in tasty chocolate and the C.E.O. scoulded us and passed a sentence upon me.

C.E.O. Sarah; I need to defrief both of you both!

Just then Time Agent Zedmore interupted!

Time Agent Zedmore; Chief, we have success with containing the Illuminati in the time loop, but unforgenately at the cost of all our time ships being deactivated.

Santa; I guessing that means that I won't be able to use the time machine parts that you gave me.

C.E.O. Sarah; Unforgenately, you are right Santa. Time Agent Zedmore, how long to total restoration of Time access?

Time Agent Zedmore; A month, maybe two?

Santa; Looks like Christmas is finished?

Me; Maybe I can help?

C.E.O. Sarah; No, you will no longer be considered a time agent or a U.S. Citizen!

Me; ???

C.E.O. Sarah; First, I need to explain what has transpired! The bread beast that tried attacking the tower came from your place. Energy that you emit from your body, brought it to life. When Santa blasted it with miracle magic, it was drawn back to him. Thankfully, we are grateful for your power in defeating the bread beast. But, now comes the hard part. You are no longer considered an agent or a citizen of the U.S. You never were Keith.

Me; What!!!

C.E.O. Sarah; We discovered that you are an alien life form.

Me; Sarah, I am me! You know me?!?

C.E.O. Sarah; Santa is taking you in to the North Pole. It will be the best for the world. I took a risk at telling you what you really are. I feared that you would go into shock and lose control of your powers.

Me; I admit that I don't fully what is going on with me, but who does in this world, but I can tell you, I am Keith. The only difference is this new power.

C.E.O. Sarah; We don't know if you can handle these powers, so you best go. Santa's North Pole is a Holy Place and can handle you and your powers. The U.S. cannot.

I was feeling very dejected, but Santa assured me that he and Mrs. Claus would take good care of me. We made our way out and towards the North Pole.

C.E.O. Sarah; I had to fight back those tears. Time Agent O'Malley, any word on the location of the real Time Agent Keith?

Time Agent O'Malley; None...the trail went cold. Maybe this Keith is the real one, just altered by alien science?

C.E.O. Sarah; No, that alien is pure energy, which consistutes itself into human form. It might of come in contact with Keith and duplicated to be like him? But it simply is not him! Have you sent out scouts to the area of that blue sun?

Time Agent O'Malley; Just one, but with the time ships being deactivated, that agent is stuck in that year and galaxy until we can activate the ships again.

Meanwhile on the U of M College Campus...

Naughty College girl Alexandra; Girls, our plans for ruining Christmas were halted!

Naughty College girl Aspen; I have a back up plan;)

Naughty College girl Alexi; I can't wait to implement it!

Next Time; Naughty, Naughty, Naughty!!!

Peace!

Keith

The Onion reports; Giant Fruit Cake monstrosity attacks Minneapolis!

Onion reporter Pauly writting about an amazing story of the attack of a giant fruit cake monster that was walking around Minneapolis, and then converged on the Foshay tower.

I received the information of how this came to be! A yeasty beast crawled from the suburbs and found a fruitcake factory! It enter and absorbed all the fruitcake mix! I thought that the last fruitcakes were made back in the 80s and were then regifted over many years? This factory was making fresh batches of fruitcake! Why, I wondered, but anyway, I degress.

The monster walked to minneapolis and was roughly the stature of 500 feet. As it came closer to the foshay tower, I saw another strange sight! I glowing blue light that flew around it and then gave the fruitcake beasty a blast! It created a hole in the creature, but it then reformulated. It was quite possibly the grossest thing I seen?

The blue light was then joined by a familiar figure of myth! Santa flying on one of his reindeer flew out of the building and up to the blue light figure. The blue light acknowledged Santa and then captured the creature in a blue light orb! The creature could not escape. Then the blue light was told to do one more thing under Santa's instruction!

The most amazing and wonderful sight as the creature was turned in Christmas treats for all to eat! Even though many enjoyed the sugary sweets, no one will remember this day in sweet history since the Men in Black showed up on the scene and blasted everyone with a bright light that made them forget. I ducked out of there ontime and hide so I could get the full scoop!

Pauly signing off!

Next Time; Life with Santa!

Peace!

Keith

Santa's Solution!

Santa appeared in all his glory! Dressed in his saintly robes, staff in hand, along with Blitzen by his side. Santa states a solution!

Santa; I appeal to you to not harm this Keith, but to set him free.

C.E.O. Sarah; Santa, I am honored to be in your presence, but please forgive me for asking on why should we let this alien life form go? It could be dangerous for the world at large.

Santa; This alien form, that I will gladly call Keith, is made up of pure goodness. There is no evil in him. He will have no problem with controling this power he has discovered.

C.E.O. Sarah; It is true that you can tell good from evil, but what if he accidently learns what he is? What if he accidently uses the powers to their fullest and it destroys our world?

Santa; He will take very good care of these new powers. I believe in him. If you can't trust him, then please let me take him into my care...

Just then, a loud crash is heard and an incredibly horrific sight is seen from the window of the Foshay tower!

Meanwhile at the Illuminati headquarters...

Illuminati Red; Insert the disc now, and then present a countdown to accessing the time loop. When the disc is inserted, it will shut off all time ships and time control from the agency and it will bring all the power to one ship which in turn will source it to the Illuminati headquarters.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2...

Illuminati Red; What happened? It was like it got cut off?

Cloned Agent Keith; I inserted the disc, and this should of created a complete block from the agency? Not sure why it is not working?

Illuminati Red; They stated that it would be impossible? Maybe we have our figures wrong?

Cloned Agent Keith; Wait...something is happening! I can see our brothers!

Illuminati Blue; Fools! You crossed into the time loop! You are stuck with us!!! They must of realized our plan, and now we can never leave!!!

Meanwhile in lockup...

Me; Back to the prison blu...what is that on the monitor?

The cameras show a horrifing sight of the bread beasty that formed in Keith's kitchen and is now, attacking the Foshay tower! And oddly enough, it is made of "Fruit Cake"!

Next Time; The Onion reports; Giant Fruit Cake monstrosity attacks Minneapolis!

Peace!

Keith

Double Trouble!

Ever look into a mirror and get startled, because your reflection is staring back at you?

Imagine that it gets worse and the image pulls a gun on you and tells you not to move or it will take hostile action?

The A.I. unit already called the Agency with a built in cell phone to his head. I am always taken back by the Galileen Time Agent's technology! The A.I. unit looks and acts exactly like me.

30 minutes later there is a knock on the door and the A.I. unit lets in Time Agent O'Malley.

Time Agent O'Malley; Sooo...how did you get out?

Me; I simply wished it, and I was suddenly here.

Time Agent O'Malley; That is a fasinating trick! You do realize that we need to get you back to containment.

Me; O'Malley, what is soo bad about me? I mean, I just realized that I have these blue fire powers and for the most part that don't do any callederal damage, so I don't see much harm?

Time Agent Malley; According to our research, you could set the entire planet on fire and it could become a sun in our galaxy.

Me; Whoa...but O'Malley, with great power comes great responsibility...right?

Time Agent O'Malley; True, but I still need you back to containment for study. This A.I. unit will be you for the time being.

Me; Alright. Cuff me and read me my rights:(

Time Agent O'Malley; LOL

Meanwhile at the headquarters of the Illuminati...

Illuminati Red; Agent Keith, are you ready?

Cloned Agent Keith; Very soon, just a few more computations and then I will need the disc.

Illuminati Red; The disc is being teleported to you now.

Cloned Agent Keith; Received. Once put into place, we will have all the power of time, and nothing will stop us from freeing our brothers!

Meanwhile at the Agency...

C.E.O. Sarah; Is he securely contained?

Time Agent Zedmore; Yes! O'Malley brought him in.

C.E.O. Sarah; Good, but how did he get out?

Time Agent Zedmore; He told Time Agent O'Malley that he simply wished it.

C.E.O. Sarah; That is not good. That means that anything we do to contain him won't work.

Time Agent Zedmore; Time Agent O'Malley stated that he guilted him into coming back to the containment cell for more study, and he agreed, so he must of a soul, and some goodness?

C.E.O. Sarah; Did Time Agent O'Malley keep the infomation back from him on being what he is?

Time Agent Zedmore; Yes. This Keith has no idea that he is an alien life form.

C.E.O. Sarah; Maybe we should confine this Keith to a time loop...just for the safety of the world?

Then a voice came around the corner and said; Maybe I can help?

C.E.O. Sarah; Santa?

Next Time; Santa's Solution!

Peace!

Keith

Prison Blues!

I didn't even give it a second thought at the time. When I set the Krampus on fire (Blue fire to be exact) I noticed that it did not burn me, and it did not feel hot. Slightly warm with a bluish energy. I have had a lot of time to think about things, since I have been in prison. I am not sure what prison I am in, or what time? It has felt like a few weeks have passed? They are feeding me quite well, and it is almost like a country club style? Yet, I am very homesick, and I wonder what my friends and family are thinking about my absence?

Meanwhile, back at the Time Agency...

C.E.O. Sarah; How is our prisoner?

Time Agent Zedmore; Doing well, but he thinks he really is Keith, and not an alien life form?

C.E.O. Sarah; It is important that you don't tell him. The shock to him could destroy our planet! How about our other problem?

Time Agent Zedmore; You mean the other Time Agent Keith? He doesn't suspect that we know.

C.E.O. Sarah; I was suspious from the beginning, and after I ran the scanner on him, I knew that he is a doppleganger. That clone of Time Agent Keith has no soul!

Time Agent Zedmore; The A.I. unit is in place of Time Agent Keith, so none of his friends and family will think he is missing. In the meantime it allows us to have the clone of Time Agent Keith here at the agency, for us to keep an eye on him while he enacts his plans. We suspect he is trying to undo a "Time Loop"

C.E.O. Sarah; Impossible, but it still could lead to repercussions in time! Very good work, Time Agent Zedmore...how is the search going for our real Time Agent Keith?

Time Agent Zedmore; Bleak...at best.

Illuminati Base...

Illuminati Red; Soon my brothers, we shall free our brothers Green, Blue and Yellow!

Illuminati Orange; Yes, the moment is soon!

Illuminati Purple; Has our agent secured a time ship yet?

Illuminati Red; The Time Ship is secured, and our cloned Time Agent Keith has been working hard at breaking the encryption of the "Time Loop".

Meanwhile back at the undisclosed prison...

Me; Even though the food is delicious, I need to blow this popstand! I wonder what this blue fire stuff can do?

I start glowing blue, and then I flame on, and I look like the human torch, but blue. I try burning thru a wall...and nothing happens. Possible safeguards, but then again, I notice that I am not really generating heat. It feels like my souls is very alive, and it feels great! I then simply wish to be back home, and instantly I am there! And then, the oddest thing? I see myself in my townhouse! Like staring at a mirror?

Next Time; Double Trouble!

Peace!

Keith

Santa's Replacements!

Suddenly SIX Krampus appeared and try to sway Santa from his upcoming ride!

Krampus 1; Hello Kris, looks like you won't be going on your legendary ride?

Krampus 2; I am eagerly awaiting our turn!

Krampus 3; Yes brothers, we will be punished the world very soon!

Krampus 4; My chains are ready for punishing!

Krampus 5; I am ready for an eternity of punishment!

Krampus 6; The entire planet will pay for their sins!

Santa; NO...NEVER! I will ride on Christmas Eve!

Krampus 1; Have you forgotten our pact Kris?

Krampus 2; Yes, the one about your timely delivery?

Krampus 3; If you are just one second late, you lose!

Krampus 4; Without your sleigh operational, why even try?

Krampus 5; Stay home with Mrs. Claus on that evening!

Krampus 6; Yes, stay home and enjoy your cookies and milk!

Me; ENOUGH! Leave us alone demons! You are not allowed here anymore!

Then my hand caught on fire! It was blue in color, but it doesn't hurt. It looks like the human torch from the Fantastic Four!

Then one of the Krampus catches on fire, and they all disappeared!

Santa then starts to cry.

Me; Kris, it is ok, we will beat this!

Santa; You don't understand. These Krampus used to be Saints, like me. They used to be my friends. They let the world get the better of them, and it twisted them into devils.

Me; I did not know that you were a Saint, I mean, you are a Saint, but what Saint?

Santa; Saint Nicolas.

Me; I know about Saint Nick, but I did not know you two were the same man?

Santa; I am immortal. So is Mrs. Claus. The Lord gave us this duty.

Me; Kris, we will not be defeated! Ahhh...can I get a lift home?

Santa; Yes! Blitzen, please bring Keith back home!

Blitzen and I head for home and then suddenly we were attacked by the Galileen Time Agency! They were waiting to capture me! After several time bombs went off, I fall off Blitzen and black out!

Next Time; Prison Blues!

Peace!

Keith

The Revealing Photo!

Here is Mrs. Claus's trump card! I responded by saying that it looks like a publicity photo! And I stated that I unforgenately know this naughty vixens! Santa could not even remember their names, which could sound either good or really bad. Soon Mrs. Claus warmed up to the idea that Santa truly loves Mrs. Claus. He would never cheat on her. They smooched!:)

I asked for the photo so I would be able to track them done and stop them from trying to sabotage Christmas!

I unforgenately noticed a problem on my way out to Santa's sleigh! The engine was sparking, and sure enough I found that the time engine was damaged! I rushed in and let Santa know!

Me; Kris, we have a problem with our sleigh!

Santa; What is the problem Keith?

Me; Your time travel engine is busted! Do you have any spare parts?

Santa; No, I do not! The Time Agency usually supplies me the nessarary parts, but with the current situation, I am not sure if we can get the parts from them?

Me; Does that mean that Christmas is off this year?

Santa; NO! We have to find a way to get it fixed our find another way to deliver the gifts?

Me; Hmmm...with the Time Agency currently trying to hunt me down, and I have no way to contact the "TimeWalker"...

Santa; If I am unable to deliver those gifts, my replacements will take over!

Me; The way you say that sounds like a bad thing!

Santa; It is! If I am even a second late in delivering, they will appear!

Me; What are they?

Santa lowered his head and stated that they are the Krampus, who are his companions. Santa says that if children are bad, these creatures will punish the children (of any age range) with chain whips! Which in this current time, everyone will get a beating! But thankfully Santa made a deal with them to never appear, unless he was not able to make his record timing of delivering gifts, and good tidings of great joy to every girl and boy! So as long as santa is around and ON TIME! the Krampus cannot take over! The Krampus eagerly await to punish the world for all it's wicked evil!

Me; Sounds like we have no alternative, but to get you sleigh running before Christmas!

Meanwhile back at the agency...

Illuminati Red; What is the estimated time on freeing our brothers?

Me too; Soon brother Red, very soon! Once we work out the calculations, our brothers will be free and this world will pay for it's interferance!!!

Next Time; Santa's Replacements!

Peace!

Keith

Cross Mrs. Claus

The North Pole feels warmer than it looks. I am currently busy putting the reindeer back in their stables...oh, I bet you are wondering what happened with us spinning out of control and a Time Torpedo heading towards us?

I think Santa said it best!

Santa; As we were spinned all about, our minds were filled with much doubt! With sudden fright, we were saved by a bright blue light! Teleported to safety, just in time for mashed potatos and gravy!

I asked Santa if he ever witnessed anything like this before. Santa just smiled.

The Time Agency is probably still scratching their heads, and due to Santa's haven, not even the Time Agency can get here!

But now we faced the toughest part of the trip! Convincing Mrs. Claus that Santa truly loves her and that she is the only one for him! I ultilized my skills to the fullest, but Mrs. Claus pulled out another photo! This time everyone was fully clothes, and it gave me three college girls faces to go on!

Meanwhile, back at the Galileen Time Agency...

C.E.O. Samalia; What happened!!! How did they get away?

Time Agent O'Malley; We saw a bright blue ball, that kind of looked like a mini sun, and then they vanished!

C.E.O. Samalia; What happened to the Time Torpedo?

Time Agent O'Malley; The blue sun absorbed it!

C.E.O. Sarah; I wonder what this other Keith is?

Me too; I can only assume that he is an alien symbiote? A shape changer that can assume the forms of others?

C.E.O. Sarah; For what purpose?

Me too; Possibly...invasion?

C.E.O. Sarah; Time Agent Keith, can I have you do some research on this?

Me too; I need clearance! Since I got back, all clearance has been revoked from both me and him.

C.E.O. Sarah; Clearance granted!

Me too; I am on it!

I enter the computer research room, and access the main files. I also commision a new time ship, and then I send a message to my contacts!

Me too; I am in! And I have access to a time ship!

Illuminati Red; Excellent!

Next time; The Revealing Photo!

Peace!

Keith

Sleigh Ride with Santa!

Galileen Time Agency, Sunday evening November 26th, 10pm EET, Mian base of the Time Agency in the Northern district of Israel. Time Agent Keith states his story to C.E.O. Sarah. Time Agent Keith spins a tale of after bouncing off the magnetic field of the Blue Sun, he used the momentum to make it back to our solar system and eventually our time. Kind of like a pinball?

C.E.O. Sarah; That sounds like a wild story!

Me too; But I am here.

C.E.O. Sarah; Would you object to a lie detector test?

C.E.O. Samalia; Already ran one. It checks out good.

C.E.O. Sarah; Well, it looks like we are covered? Oh, what about a physical?

C.E.O. Samalia; All done. Everything is in order.

C.E.O. Sarah; Looks like you left no stones unturned?

C.E.O. Samalia; Green light all across the board.

C.E.O. Sarah; Sooo, what do we do about the other Keith?

C.E.O. Samalia; I got the plan already in the works.

Meanwhile back in the States...

Santa; Keith thanks for the enjoyable stay, but we must go to the North Pole! I need your expertese at helping my marriage!

Santa A.K.A. Kris Kringle is right in knowing that I help repair relationships, and especially love relationships. I am not much help for my own date life (or lack there of a date life) but I have always helped keep couples stay together (With the power of Christ alone, of course)

Santa; Lets pack a lunch and off we go to the North Pole!

We were moving a great speed and timing, and then we hit a snag! I noticed what looked like mines everywhere, floating around, like underwater mines that sink submarines.

Santa; What are those?

Me; Take evasive action Kris! Those are "Time Bombs"!

Santa; Don't time bombs go off at a particular time?

Me; Not these! If you hit them, they bring you back to a time chosen on the bomb. It works like a prison!

I wasn't sure how I remember this, but maybe my memory works better under stress?

Santa; Who is trying to stop us?

Me; The Time Agency!

Santa; I don't remember breaking any time laws? My sleigh rides are always authorized by the Time Agency! Thats how I get all the toys delivered thru out the world!

Me; They are after me Kris. I am not exactly sure why, but I remeber this happening to another tume agent. They sent him to dungeon in the dark ages and tortured him until he spilled info.

Santa; Oh my! What should we do?

Me; How fast can this go?

Santa; 1000 miles an hour, without time jumping.

Me; We need to time jump to a time where we can't meet with Mrs. Claus, but not be detected.

Santa; That would be illegal! I am under strict time law!

Me; We are being targeted for time teleport for a prison of there choice without any trail.

Santa; Ok...ah, what should I do?

Me; Let me take control!

Just then, the sleigh was jammed and we started to spin out of control. From what I could see out of the corner of my eyes was what looked like a "Time Torpedo"

Next Time; Cross Mrs. Claus

Peace!

Keith

Doubles!

Imagine. It is 1am on a Sunday and you get to witness an amazingly gross experiment happening before your very eyes! The Amish Friendship Bread Monster just split into 5 different bread beasties! With Angela screaming it was hard to concentrate on what to do next! And then...the fireplace lit it, but not a fire, but a very bright light, followed by jingling of bells!

Santa popped out of the Fireplace and before he could say his patented Ho Ho Ho!
He said; Oh My! Looks like we have a bit of a problem!

Santa pulls out a recipe book and waves he fingers! 4 out of the 5 bread beasties turn into gingerbread men, and the fifth one oozes out under the front door of my place and escapes!

(Just so you know, Santa doesn't dabble in magic, but instead has the gift of miracles from our Lord)

Santa; Ho Ho HO! Let's enjoy these gingerbread cookies with a cool glass of milk by the fireplace!

Me; What about the other bread beastie Kris? (Santa and I are on a first name basis)

Santa; It won't last long in the bitter cold outside.

Angela and Michael cold not believe what they were seeing and for the rest of the time, they stared at Santa with doe like eyes:) We enjoyed the gingerbread cookies and milk. If I may say so, it was the best gingerbread cookies I have ever tasted!

Soon, we had to send Michael and Angela on their way and get Santa settled in.

Santa; Keith, it is good to see you again, but I notice something different about you?

Me; What is that Kris?

Santa; I can't quite place it right now, but it is a good thing. (Santa smiles)

Santa begins to let me in on why Mrs Claus kicked him out of the cottage. Someone from a college nearby my place has been sending pictures that Santa has been cheating on Mrs Claus! Santa had a few of the pitures with him to show me the dire situation, and let's just say that are not good for young readers to see! I checked the address of the envelope, and sure enough it was for the U of M campus area. I put my hand to my head and explained to Santa about a bunch of college girls that were afflicted with a virus from a young gal that made young women slightly crazy. Santa said, even though it sounds odd, he understands.

Me; Anyway...Kris, back to what I can do to help you. Currently I don't have a Time Ship, so what we can do is chill out this weekend and then head up North in your sleigh to make a plea with Mrs. Claus. I know that you are a faithful husband Kris!

Santa; Ho Ho Ho! Keith, you are the best! Let's a good nights rest and resume talk in the latter part of this morning!

Me; Agreed!

Meanwhile in Galilee, at the Main Time Agency...

C.E.O. Sarah; Ok, C.E.O. Samalia I came all this way to see this other Time Agent Keith!

C.E.O. Samalia; See for yourself!

Me too; Hello Sarah, I am glad to finally be back.

C.E.O. Sarah could not believe her eyes and see nearly dropped to her knees in disbelief.

Next Time; Sleigh Ride with Santa!

Peace!

Keith